I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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