There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Who died my cat blue again?
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