who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You ate ashes out of my bong
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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