I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
