i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize