Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I checked into jail on foursquare
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
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