...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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