Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
