I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
