i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
