try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Randomize
