Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
