Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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