He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
