Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
