Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
