I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
