That's intense
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
