you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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