I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
