she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
