You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dick very happy bro
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
