I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
