I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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