My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
