My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
