Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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