The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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