ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
