So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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