So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
