How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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