what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
