I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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