i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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