i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize