I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
