Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
