That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
