OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
