I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
