My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
