a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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