OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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