I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
