My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
