So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
