Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
...so i touched it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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