i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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