apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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