we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
