...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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