I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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