Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
try to milk me bitch
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
