when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
