Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
