My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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