Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
