I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize