Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
