I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
