I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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