Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
