It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
love makes seman taste better
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
