Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
