Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
