therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
