hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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